oh man. I think I'm doing a bit better with calorie counting and getting back into the swing of it, but I noticed I've definitely decreased the amount of weight I've lost and I'm back to more of maintaining. I went and re-evaluated my weight goals and determined that I should probably cut back a bit more, since Oliver isn't breastfeeding all night long and I've been busy without the gym I'm not burning as much as I could be. so decreasing calories is really going to suck, because I have been getting the max pretty much every day. clearly it's too much. now I'm decreasing and keeping at about 1550 as the max rather than 1700. I need to lose a bit more than 1.5lbs a week to reach my goal by October 1. I will be pleased if I hit it then, but I'll just be pleased to be a few pounds short.

I'll be honest, I'm scared that I'll fail. I'm scared that I will be like I have been and complacent with my weight loss instead of battling it. I have just over 30 lbs more to lose! I can do this! but if I hadn't just sat here for six weeks being "eh" I need something drastic.

I'm excited and extremely nervous! let's see what happens. I'm skeptical because I've been so lax, but also we are doing a lot of traveling and I need to put the kibosh on food splurges.

haha also, I am requesting Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Pink and others from the library. my friends will think I lost my shit, but LOL I'm not so into running with Dashboard Confessional :)

I want us to be a family of health and doing.

oof. I haven't been here in a few weeks. I'm really just in this slump and not sure how to go back into everything. I'm 172lbs now. This is terrible. I was much closer to 135 at the beginning of April. it's amazing how easy it is to get out of habit.

I'm fortunate to have friends who are going through the same thing and it's nice to commiserate. I'm heading back to the gym tonight and hopefully that will make me feel a little better.

motivation-wise I'm desperate for the Nike+ but all the hints in the world isn't going to get it for me! I'm going to suck it up and buy it on Amazon since I have a gift card there I've been clinging to.

I'm trying to get the house in order so we can set the dining room table up in the spare bedroom. it would be nice to have dinner in there, but mostly I look forward to it being a craft room. I really want to paint that room a limier green too.

this post is all over the place!

i just need someone to restrict my eating! i've been eating far too many carbs and far too many calories as of late. I might have to resort back to eating some pre-packaged meals to cut back on portions and stuff.