oh man. I think I'm doing a bit better with calorie counting and getting back into the swing of it, but I noticed I've definitely decreased the amount of weight I've lost and I'm back to more of maintaining. I went and re-evaluated my weight goals and determined that I should probably cut back a bit more, since Oliver isn't breastfeeding all night long and I've been busy without the gym I'm not burning as much as I could be. so decreasing calories is really going to suck, because I have been getting the max pretty much every day. clearly it's too much. now I'm decreasing and keeping at about 1550 as the max rather than 1700. I need to lose a bit more than 1.5lbs a week to reach my goal by October 1. I will be pleased if I hit it then, but I'll just be pleased to be a few pounds short.

I'll be honest, I'm scared that I'll fail. I'm scared that I will be like I have been and complacent with my weight loss instead of battling it. I have just over 30 lbs more to lose! I can do this! but if I hadn't just sat here for six weeks being "eh" I need something drastic.

I'm excited and extremely nervous! let's see what happens. I'm skeptical because I've been so lax, but also we are doing a lot of traveling and I need to put the kibosh on food splurges.

haha also, I am requesting Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Pink and others from the library. my friends will think I lost my shit, but LOL I'm not so into running with Dashboard Confessional :)

I want us to be a family of health and doing.